In Into The Light, Relationship With Others, Relationship With Yourself, Self-Mastery, You & The Universe

Back in 2005 in a spiritual retreat I came across this powerful insight:

Intimacy means: In to me see.

It was one of those wonderful aha moments! A moment of touching and feeling truth.

We ALL feel the calling for Intimacy. Intimacy with our True Self and thus with others for they are one and the same.

Intimacy – In to me see – to know and experience the innermost being that which is innate within you, me all of us. This innermost essence is what is calling you to connect and merge with it. You are it’s child (see my blog: We are children of the Ocean!)

Once truly heard this calling to our essence draws us in ever closer to it’s truth and the process is unstoppable. Our essence IS, in truth, here now and always and all ways!

This is the only true Intimacy everything else is a pale imitation and limitation to this truth.

The word Intimacy itself has been ‘abused’ in modern parlance often taken to infer sexual relationships but take a look at its root:

Latin intimare (“to put or bring into, to impress, to make familiar”), from intimus (“inmost, innermost, most intimate”), superlative of intus (“within”), from in (“in”); see interior. Source Wiki

You can see in this etymology the calling element is there “…bring into…” and also recognition of truth “… familiar” and the “innermost” essence from “within.” Beautiful! Looked at in this way the word is a profound signpost to that within and not just some word that the media may use to describe some latest scandal.

Intimacy, experientially may seem scary at first. Why? Because we have all been conditioned, programmed into believing something less than the truth of ourselves. So when we touch true intimacy fear may, at first, emerge.

Once this ‘fear’ is looked at in the face so to speak it will melt and what is left will be joy, truth, love.

A classical example of this is looking into the eyes of another. How many people find that uncomfortable to both do and to be the recipient of? I know I did at one time until I realised what was unfolding.

There are sayings in language connected with this paraphrasing:

The eyes are the window of the soul.

Look into the eyes of another and you will fall in love with them.

Both are pointers to deeper truths that are not widely understood or, most importantly, experienced!

Actually, everything, every experience is a window to the soul though the eyes which ‘see’ are an easy and truly beautiful entry point. The eyes speak volumes.

Awareness is essential though!

What is looking through these eyes is more than likely conditioning. Belief in something less than the truth of you/me and the truth of another. Belief leads to judgement of you and the other and it all stems from the false belief of separation.

If you have ever tried gazing into another’s eyes it can be most revealing and truly profound. I have many times.

So, at first, I tried it as you’d expect conditioning was there in me and the other and it felt a bit scary and uncomfortable. But we carried on. The calling of the intimacy – in to me see took over and what emerged was magic. The fear in us melted the eyes shone ever more brightly, may be even a tear or two of joy and it felt just great.

We loved each other. Not in the romantic sense but in the recognition of the truth within each of us.

Wow. This was and is profound stuff.

Since that time around 8 years ago, I’ve experienced it many times and have learnt that it is an open loving gaze that starts the magic to unfold. It is profoundly healing. Indeed I have witnessed profound healings from this. Though take care… not everyone is ready or open to this degree of intimacy – in to me see.

For fear can and will arise when any conditioning is present. So that’s all of us then apart from the truly enlightened masters – the Buddha’s. Though, in truth, we are all that.

Kate Griffith’s recent experience of intimacy and scariness that she shared in the Facebook group ‘Sacred Soul Space’ inspired me to write this blog. Thanks Kate – it was and is a true gift!

Kate had attended a Biodanza event (a meditative dance practice) which led to an experience of intimacy – in to me see. An insight she shared was this:

I had tears flowing down my face in the penultimate exercise and I had quite an amazing realisation, deep intimacy is actually quite a raw and scary place!

It was delight to read Kate’s share because it resonated with my own first experiences that I describe above. I don’t know the full details of Kate’s experience and I don’t need to. What is important here is the opening she evidently experienced into something deeper in her and the other. A connection. Yes, some fear arose from the conditioning we all have but yet also that pointed her to the magic that lay beyond that for she thoroughly enjoyed the whole day.

It felt wonderful to have a whole day off and to listen to my body and let it find its own expression without my mind/ mouth interrupting and the result was quite surprising.

True Intimacy – in to me see is calling you. Listen to the call, Trust (see my video on this here: Trusting Your Self) and watch the beauty and magic unfold in your life. This is the place where miracles happen.


This insight now forms part of a 5 Part Series all connected with the related subject of SEX. The order of the insights is: Word was SEX, Intimacy, From Sensation to Insation, Transcendent Sex, Sexual Communion and links are provided below to the other insights.

Exploring true intimacy further along with the related topic of sex there are some useful ‘sister posts’ with link buttons provided below.

Kate’s website link: Whole Self Leadership

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Showing 2 comments
  • Debbie

    Hi Philip, Great blog post really resonate with your insights.

    Blessings Debbie

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  • […] encourage you to read Philip Wade’s beautiful post about Intimacy as he explains why years of conditioning are what makes intimacy so challenging. His definition of […]

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